When a hug just doesn’t seem enough…

A couple of friends of mine got awful news about their son, today. I´ve been thinking about what to say or do, since I heard about it, so that I could somehow ease their pain. And I can’t.

I know I can’t even begin to imagine the intensity of their suffering. There’s nothing I can say that will even begin to adress that much pain. All I can do is offer my shoulder and my arms, live through this horrendous time with them, if they want me to. Help with the little things that have to be done, when they think that even that is too much for them. Let them curl up in my arms and cry with them, if they don’t want to cry alone. Be at arm’s length, without imposing myself on them, and their need to grieve alone, if that’s what they want.

I wish I could offer them hope, at a time like this, but every word rehearsed in my head seems void and superficial. Most of all I don’t want to say anything that will only appease my own grief, and will do nothing for them.  

So I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sorry about my ineptitude to help you through it. I’m sorry if even this carefully chosen words, with only you in mind, will never be enough to help you and soothe you.

Most of all, I want to say I’m here. Whenever, wherever and however you need me, I’m here. For as long as you need, my body, my heart and my soul are yours. I’m here.

About Ana Carrilho

I'm a portuguese forty-year-old wife of a gamer geek. I'm also a buddhist, the mother to a beautiful toddler girl and like to think of myself as something of a craft artist.
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23 Responses to When a hug just doesn’t seem enough…

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