I have an alien life form growing inside me and it’s the most wonderful experience I’ve ever had. She’s been there for about six monthes now and it’s eerie feeling her move around in my womb, without any say from me. It’s also extremely daunting to think that a new human being, with all the potential she brings, is so wholly dependent on me and on what I do to survive and thrive. Like all of us, she will bring something new to Mankind. She will be a new link in the immense network of souls that sustains and develops our species. She will touch other human beings just for being born. She will learn to love, to think, to play with us and she will teaches to do all that in return.
I know she will probably be a gamer and a geek at a really tender age, if her father get’s his way. And he probably will. The love I feel for the two of them right now is overwhelming. I know the feast of hormones raging through my body has much to do with it, but I don’t care. It’s uncanny and blissful to be able to love like that. It’s almost liberating to be overrun with your own emotions in such a way. My husband’s smile is precious to me like never before. The connection I feel with him has never been stronger and it has never ache so much to be away from him, even for a short while. I hope he’s willing to accompany me every step of the way in this adventure, because there’s nobody on this planet I’d rather share this with.
I can’t even describe what I’m feeling for that tiny speck of life inside my belly. Although I know that pregnancy is a perfectly normal and straightforward biological process, I’m still in complete awe of my ability to generate a complete new life. That an independent conscience is forming inside me is still a miraculous event to me. I have never felt so totally immersed in another human being and she hasn’t even come out yet. It has never been so easy to give up or sacrifice anything for anyone else. I’m almost afraid of the eagerness I feel to begin to watch her bloom and grow out here with us, to witness every aspect of her discovery of the world. I hope I never let her down as a mother, because I already know she can never let me down as a child.