Geek By Proxy

We’re back in Lisbon again, after another “RPG retreat”, as we pompously call our little role-playing vacations. As usual, we had about two playing sessions a day, one in the afternoon and another after dinner. I got to be GM again, in our “The Mountain Witch” game.

Once again, I was caught by surprise by how different it is to be on the other side of the game. Although this particular game is not very taxing on the GM, and counts heavily on the participation of the players, it demands a bit of prep work, more than I ever had to do in any RPG I played. I have to add that I first started playing with a group of very experienced players, most of them also experienced GM’s in different games. All of the players in this retreat fall in that category and I was a little bit scared of being “in control” of such a gaming table. I must confess I had some self-confidance problems when it came to making arbitrarial decisions, but I think that in the end it went pretty well.

My husband is intense in his passions. When he likes something passionately, he wants make the most of every single second he has, when he’s given the opportunity to do it. And he really likes role-playing games. I know that whenever we organise a retreat, he’s going to spend all his waking hours either playing or coaxing everybody else to sit down at the table and start playing. And I love to see him so happy and eager to play.

This time, however, our tempo was slightely slower. We had a lot of “downtime” moments, when no one was doing much of anything. And I have to confess I loved it. No matter how long we have all known each other, for me, those little moments stolen from play mean sharing. Sharing thoughts, feelings, hopes and disappointments, getting closer to our friends, interweaving our worlds just a little bit tighter.

And then, there’s the other side of it. Being alone in the kitchen remembering all those moments and putting all the love and care I can in the preparation of our meals. The food is seldom fancy or elaborate and, although I’m relatively proficient in the kitchen, sometimes things go a little bit wrong. I always come out of it with a wonderful sense of elation, though. The kind of feeling you only get from a truly heartfelt gift to others. It doesn’t really matter if they are conscious of it or not, it’s completely irrelevant if I get validation from them or not. I’m at my best cooking for them, inspite of them. And it’s a wonderful feeling. So thank you guys, for letting me give you that small token of my love for all of you, and for letting me discover abilities and talents I never knew I had, through our games and our shared times. Love to you all.

My first real experience with RPG came from playing an AD&D campaign with my husband, almost 15 years ago. I’ve played many RPG’s since, in different systems with different premisses, but that tingling feeling of discovering a new world and a new way to have fun with my brain will never be the same. Role-playing has become a very important part of my life, and an important chunk of the shared experiences between me and my husband. I long for the day when we both sit down with our children around a table and show them what sheer imagination can do.

I confess I don’t know much about Gary Gygax or his life. However, I know he changed my life deeply with the game he co-created. I think I’m a better person and a more creative one for having played his game. For that, my gratitude will never be fully expressed.

I’m not the traditional RPG geek. I came in touch with the game relatively late in my life. Most of the players around me have been playing since their teens. I started playing when I was already in my twenties, mainly because my husband asked me to check it out and see if I would like to play with him. My group of friends grew, as I discovered more co-players and attended RPG meetups.

But it all started with that AD&D campaign. So, thank you Gary, and may we meet again in whatever plane you dwell in now.