Geek By Proxy

“Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object                                                                                                                                                                          <SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fu**ing soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geeka*s bastards”

 in www.bash.org (#14258)

A couple of days ago Iwas talking to a friend, describing to him the different games we played at our RPG retreat and I mentioned “Dust Devils”.  He didn’t know the game and I told him it was an indie game. “It’s a what game?” was his response. At that moment, every single conversation I witnessed between my husband and any RPG player not familiar with The Forge or with RPG theory discussions, became different in my mind. We’re the créme de la créme of Geekdom! Even geeks think we’re geeky!

Actually they find my husband geeky, I’m only considered guilty by association. However, a lot of what I deemed strange or odd events, were suddenly  much easier to explain. Empty looks and blank stares from people I had labeled as ultimate geeks, now had a context. Worse… I’m becoming more of a geek myself, than I ever deemed possible…

So I’m back, after a ten-day vacation with a group of geeks. During that time, we hardly went out of the house, playing at least two RPG sessions a day. Between sessions, I cooked, while the guys “rested”, with a book, or in front of the TV. Which is to say, they turned into couch potatoes…

I was the producer for our PTA season, which was a great experience for me, and made me appreciate a little more all the different GMs I’ ve played with over the years. A heartfelt “thank you” to all of them and their hard work.

Now for a few war stories of my life in Geekdom…

We arrived there late at night, so we got into the house, assigned rooms, made the beds, and that was it for the day. The next day, after lunch, we decided to go to the local café and find out where we could buy some amenities, in the village. Note that we haven’t played a session yet. 

As soon as we stepped outside the front door, my husband enthusiastic exclames, “Hexs!”. I looked at him, half worried that I had lost him to the geek side of life for good, reality having been turned into a mere nuisance. He smiles at me and points to the ground. I could have hit him when I saw the hexagonal tiles!

Then there was the trip to the supermarket. It started out OK, with me running around between ailes, getting what we needed and three geeks pushing a cart behind me, while they talked in two languages inaccessible to mere mortals: bitish (the language of bits and bytes) and gamish (the language of games, be it RPG, boardgames or computer games). That´s when I made a big mistake. We needed some things from the deli counter and I decided to save some time, so I left my husband at the counter to order some ham, while I got the rest of the things we needed from the aisles. I left them there with a tingling sense of dred, but I brushed the feeling off, as I walked away, having confidence in my hubby’s inteligence to make any decision needed.

A while later, that nagging feeling came back, as I watched him walk in my direction, with a self-satisfied grin on his face and a pack of ham in his hand. Sure enough, it was the wrong kind. According to him, he asked the lady at the counter exactly what I told him too. But then, she presented him with… options. So now, he had to choose. Unable to do so, he kept answering “I don’t know.” to every question she posed. Finally, the lady gave up and chose for herself, giving him the cheapest kind of ham, in an effort to keep him out of trouble with me. She succeeded, in a way. When he told me his tale, I couldn’t stop laughing, so he got away with it.

Before we headed out, one of the participants in the trip had asked me to hover around me in the kitchen, so that he could pick up some tricks. I agreed, a bit surprised that any of them would show any interest in anything as prosaic as cooking. And sure enough he did so… exactly once. He started asking me what I was doing, so I kept describing the different steps of preparing the dish, as I was doing them. Until I looked at him and saw the most utterly complete blank face I ever saw in a man. I would have kept going, nonetheless, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

I’ve got loads of other stories about this retreat, and I’ll keep writing them in the future. But for now, this post is already long. My husband said he would post an in-game account of the retreat, for those of you who would like to know more about it, so take a peek at his blog. If it isn’t there already, it will be soon.

Have you noticed how hard it is for geeks to make casual conversation? Today we went for dinner with a friend couple, and at a given point, someone made a comment about the temperature having dropped and the night breeze having got cold. My husband answers, “It’s never cold in Lisbon. In Novogorod it’s cold; in Novosibirsk it’s cold, but not in Lisbon.”

Now, it never crossed my mind to answer anything but, “You’re right, it’s getting colder” or “I still think it’s hot”. Certainly, it never crossed my mind to name two obscure russian towns to illustrate the difference in temperatures at different latitudes in the planet. But, hey, what do I know?

Anyway, we’re leaving for our RPG retreat later today, so see you in about two weeks.

For those of you who are used to reading my husband’s blog, you’ll know that every year around this time, we prepare what we call our RPG retreat. Usually, it means that for about a week, we find a place outside of Lisbon where a group of us stay and do almost nothing else than playing role-playing games. Usually that means me and a bunch of men.

 Last night, my place hosted the character and setting preparation meeting. If you know men in general, and geeks in particular, you’ll know that, for them, nothing else is needed, when you’re leaving town for a week. Everything else falls on the category of “operational details”, which are not at all important. Guess who’s stuck worrying about them?

From my point of view, yeah, playing’s fun, but I still like to eat and sleep on a clean bed. Which means it’s up to me to find out if there are any clean sheets available when we get there (it’s a holiday house, so unoccupied most of the year), and just how close is the nearest supermarket. From their point of view, they feel confortably sure that “someone” will cook and make food available, and I’m convinced they don’t find things like beds to be something they should worry about at all. Don’t take me wrong, they’re all very nice guys, and if tell them to, they’ll take care of stuff. It’s just that somethings are beyond them.

On a different note, this retreat will be my first opportunity to be a PTA producer. I’ve never been a GM or anything of the sort, so I’m kind of nervous about it. On the other hand, it´s probably an easy way to try the head of the table for the first time, so I’m looking forward to it. I’m sure my husband will give you an accurate report of how I did, when we get back.

Hi, everyone!

This blog is an attempt to describe the daily struggles of being married to a gamer geek, with loads of geek friends… without having started as a geek myself. For now, I’ll say my life is fun … well, most of the time, at least. So, keep tuned. After all, I’m probably a very strange girl. Geeks aren’t supposed to have girlfriends or wifes… or are they?